Tears (Measures of a human life)

All grown up…

It would be unwise to assume that all there is to know has been shed upon me…

I rub my face and look into the mirror, to see my own eyes staring back at me asking the same question that I beckon an the answer from my reflection…

Where has all the time gone?

The silence in the room is only broken once my soul begins to shift, yet I remain still… waiting patiently for an answer…

I stare until the surface of what everyone sees disappears… there are only two sets of very familiar eyes staring back into one another… dark brown portals with staircases leading to the depths of the soul…

At the bottom of those staircases are corridors to traverse years of travel in an intimate moment of solitude… It’s been well over twelve-thousand days… My feet and ankles ache, but not more than my heart when I ask the question…

How far have I come? And do not have an answer…

I see the grooves in my soul from walking in circles…

and it breaks my heart…

Then crushed by waves my body floods, I’m forced out of my trance and brought back to being face to face with myself in the mirror…

A tear rolls down my face… the room is silent but the onslaught of living my dreams whispers that I am free to do so; so long as I look at where I wish to go by saying…

Your life is immeasurable by any man, even yourself…

Just be willing to go the distance…

and a tear rolled down my face…

and I smiled.

Say Nothing (Say Everything)

Through yonder window breaks a mixture of moonbeams and streetlight…

The chill in the evening air freezes my thoughts and I am uncertain of what to say…

Yet no obstacles exist t hat would hinder me from reaching across the sofa with my gaze to touch you before my hands reach out and do the same…

Still I sit looking at you locked in perpetual exchange of unspoken emotion… and haven’t the faintest clue what you are not saying, but it means the world to me all the same…

Roaring silence of not saying the right thing…  broken by opening the of hearts and speaking the words they conduct…

For they always seem to know exactly what they want, need… desire and are unafraid to say so…

Speak low…

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Intimate moments of silence sit between whispers of the soul when the body is at rest… when we close our eyes and try to clear our minds…think about the day, only to lose our presence in the night…

The opportunity to catch fireflies and moonbeams… open your eyes and be my lover and I your dreamer…

A connection far from illusion… reaching out without a frog singing a song… but if there were we’d both look and become lost in the sweet dissonance of twangs and a river running beneath us…

How sweet life is when you taste it… search for a succulent to prick yourself awake hoping that the succulence of your experience never leaves your lips… that it never leaves your life… I could lose myself in the way you see me…

Hydrogen & Oxygen (Agua)

It will take much more than two parts to one to sustain me…

To keep my eyes dancing in the light reflected from you, to fill my mind with so much reality… that fantasy is nothing compared.

To usher words that upon uttering from my lips, flow so easily that they are of fabric seamless and warm by their very nature…

To not even tell a joke but trigger my humor and make me laugh make me smile… to keep my temperature down but my blood surging with heat and passion…

For you to be like water… adapt to me… I’m thirsty…

Mementos (Time Capsule)

The charm of any keepsake is the closeness that it bears to the heart…

Lockets containing pictures with messages enscribed on the back proclaiming love and dedication… get passed along and tell a story to be passed along… and its been way past a long time for you to begin one of your own… 

It’s in your eyes past what everyone can see… the beginning of something beautiful… the warm beginning of a record releasing the crackles of a kindling fire in which you dance to your favorite song, you relax at the end of your day and even if playing in the background…

its still there… and at the end you turn it over and listen even deeper until you have to do so again… and again… and again…

a joy to hear… you are listening… to pages turning in photo albums of things that happened and will happen… they draw you into remembrance… take hold of the present and make you gaze at your love becoming lost in the future…

What is within us that although as old as time itself always tastes so sweet, as warm as something new, a story … a song that no matter how many times you’ve heard it… never gets old…ageless… timeless… antique… vintage… love.

Serene (You Are Loved)

hrtz

There are times to be remembered… that when your soul compels you to be present and most important of all… to become lost and alone with them…

Each moment that you were present… is where if anyone should be looking for you, it is there that they will find you…

Neither lost nor exactly alone…

Perhaps during a difficult time, where you are sitting across from your mother… you have no clue as to what to do, but something within her says that she should utter just how much you are loved…

It is only a memory, but in times of need you can remember it and practically not only hear but see the words cross over her lips and sink into your soul… calming your heart…

If one were to listen closely… they could hear your heartbeat and find you… they may travel a distance and possibly have been for some time… there may be debris of hurt and regrets, but be assured he will come…

And he will see you…

Looking into eyes much like your own… knowing that nothing short of the absence of life itself can cause you to part… you both shed years when you met… your heart was calm and something that your mother said to you, seems all that more familiar… she said it before times were rough…

You… living for much more than yourself, wondering if you can be seen in this place…

But when is it, that you haven’t been seen? Or better yet not heard?

No call for panic… steady yourself…

For even though clouds form and it begins to rain… the downpour of sadness from without you that strike the ground with its pitter patter pattern attempting to mask the beating of your heart… will not compare to the mirth that can flood your soul…

True your heart may have been beaten… but still it beats and rest assured it is heard… you are still here and the message of love sent to you came way before the first moment you cried out…

Now you listen to your heartbeat…

This is how you know… no matter what… you are always loved…

This is your moment to remember…

This is your peace…

(4LC)

Escape (Be Aware)

When my eyes close…

The hurt that surrounds me is no longer in sight and I am enshrouded in darkness… and it is there that I can hide away, but everyone can still see me…

I am adult, playing a child’s game of multidimensional peek-a-boo with the universe in which the visible world before me is no longer in sight… but the one inside of me composed of my memories and emotions remains…

This is where I am… all alone…

Won’t someone hear me scream?

For I have been here far too long in this darkness that I no longer have shape… I have no face… I am the sum of all that I have endured, triumphed, cried over, laughed about, hated and loved… and although here I possess no physical set of eyes… I can see all of these things set before me…

Running away is impossible because I am this world… and it is from all the experiences I have lived through that have given me this cosmos encased by my skin…. So why try and hide? Why try and leave?

This is my life… and I am thankful….

Sunday (Post Saturday Night)

A simple sunrise is far from just that…

It is a humbling beauty that begs to be seen…

Yet my preference is in keeping the curtains drawn, leaving the new day unseen but not unknown…

Having spent an evening with your world at my fingertips, the desire to pull night past daybreak and letting it linger into the afternoon…

What happened? I ask myself with a tremble trying to keep nimble with every thought so as not to sever the connection that can lead me to return to the center of your universe…

It’s 8a.m. and Monday is twenty-four hours away…

Musing 3/10/14

So very often when I want to write I get distracted by things at home. What bills I have to pay, television, netflix series I “need” to catch up on etc… Which forces me to leave home and try to find somewhere to get work done. Usually I can find a cafe or library that gives me the peace that I require to do what I need to do, but sometimes the journey to get to those places robs me of my time to write and before I know it I have only sat down for maybe an hour and written for about 30 minutes before I have to go back home. But within that journey to getting where I want to be in order to write, I fall into the most amazing views and I want to stop and write them all down, but I have to keep moving. I can only imagine if I were sitting on a train and writing about all that I see and at the same time being able to work without borders of time… That would be the most amazing thing and would be totally new. I love to travel but have not had much time to… This would be a great gift.