Absolution (Capturing Angels)

What is this unfair advantage?

That I would write a million words to capture your soul,

only to deeply and truly understand that it will never fully

belong to me…

Yet you need say nor scribe a single word…

and in the very act of even imagining your look upon me,

you are able to extract vivid descriptions of how I see you

for your own keeping…

And my soul is not at rest…

wondering where you keep them because

the are a part of me…

And yes… knowing that they are with you

as they are intended to be…

comforts me to know they are in a good place…

But this place I for myself have not seen…

I dream of it… but east of where I lay,

a new day will soon begin and along with it, the vision fades from my memory…

and as level as my bed may rest,

the seventy-eight percent of me composed of water

brews storms of anxiety knowing that before I even open my eyes…

my morning will be spent alone…

I die a little… my heart… cries a little…

yet I am dehydrated… parched for your love

and you are not near… but it also doesn’t feel as if you are miles away…

So even knowing that your soul will never be mine…

with only a few words true from my heart…

for a moment I can touch it… steal a glimpse of it in the palest of lights

and in the midst of the darkest nights when I need it most…

cling to it until the dawn of a new day…

Because I was given a gift,

that allows me to do so all in the name of love,

until the day I am rendered speechless.

(122114NP)